Rock, chalk, Jayhawk! Congrats to the NCAA Tournament Champs the Kansas Jayhawks. Cue Bill Self asking for more money. Coach Self is flirting with the idea of returning to coach his alma mater Oklahoma State. Either way, he’s going to get Kansas’ money or OSU’s money.
Yeah, yeah. So the Heels didn’t even make it to the final. Neither did UCLA. I dropped from 1st to 13th in the Pool to End All Pools. My only consolation is that Clemson head coach Oliver Purnell is staying on instead of taking the offer from the oddly-colored LSU Tigers.
At the top of the rundown this week sits imprisoned Atlanta Falcon’s QB Michael Vick. Is he playing prison-yard football? Is he not playing prison yard football? The big question here is: WHO CARES?
It’s hard to beat a wrestler with no arms and legs, but this week’s Champ of the Week has had a pretty phenomenal last couple of days. As much as I do not enjoy watching women’s basketball, the Tennessee Lady Vols’ point guard Candace Parker gets an nod for battling through a shoulder injury on Tuesday to win the NCAA Women’s Tourney, and being the top pick overall in the WNBA draft on Wednesday.
We have quite a lineup for Chump of the Week this time around. We’ll start with our second runner-up…The Detriot Tigers! They sit pretty at 0-7 after a 5-0 loss to the Bawstun Red Sawx at Fenway the other day.
Coming in a very respectable second place is outfielder Jordan Schafer. Schafer plays for the Atlanta Braves AA team in Mississippi. Ok, so he’s not a real media darling. Why give him this prestigious honor? Schafer is the first player this season to be suspended for HGH use! We all knew it had to happen eventually. He was tapped to possibly replace Braves center fielder Mark Kostay by mid-season, but now our boy Schafer has been landed with a 50 game suspension. Fifty games doesn’t seem like such a big deal when a baseball season in itself runs upward of 150 games, but the fact that he is the first this season to get caught violating the MLB Performance Enhancing Drugs Policy means something. Trust me on this one, people. There will be others, especially if some desperate team decides to pick up Barry Bonds.
Who does that leave for the number one spot? Well, this week we’ve got a three-way tie between China, The Beijing Olympics, and the Olympic Torch Relay!
Who does that leave for the number one spot? Well, this week we’ve got a three-way tie between China, The Beijing Olympics, and the Olympic Torch Relay! 
Yeah, I know they are all somewhat related, but I felt all deserved a separate mention. China’s poor air quality and the harsh crackdown in Tibet are setting the tone for a very interesting 2008 Olympics. The Beijing Games are becoming a political showdown between China and the rest of the world instead of the peaceful, athletic competition it was designed to be. The Torch Relay loses because of the mass protests being held along the route the Torch is taking worldwide. The sacred flame itself was snuffed out during the Paris leg of the journey.
On a lighter note, check out my new hero Brennan Carroll. This is what everyone should strive to be. Note: Contains language, most of which has been censored. Along with that, I think those USC walk-ons are terrible. I’m thinking of going out for the team.
Oh, and...
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