Welcome to the inaugural edition of A Woman's Guide to Sports. The idea for this feature was spawned during a bus ride to JPJ, when I realized that some girls (and guys) really have no idea what is going on with regard to sporting events. Periodically, I will break down major sporting events and oft-questioned sports topics for those of you who do not check ESPN every 15 minutes.
What better way to begin than with the Super Bowl? I’ll give you a brief rundown of the game, so you can seem somewhat knowledgeable at Super Bowl parties in between commercial breaks. (Gotta love those Budweiser Clydesdales). This year’s contest - the 42nd to be exact - is a match-up between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. The Giants, also known as the G-Men, defeated aging legend Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers to win the NFC Championship. The Patriots (Pats for short) won against the San Diego Chargers and the 2006 NFL MVP LaDanian Tomlinson to capture the AFC crown.
Super Bowl XLII - that’s 42 for those of you who don’t know your Roman numerals (shame!) - has some pretty serious hype to follow. Of course, we all know that the talking heads are never silent, from the time when the contestants are known until days (or weeks) after the actual game. However, this year’s game warrants some pretty serious discussion. For those of you who don’t know - and I’m assuming you don’t if you are reading this feature - the New England Patriots are 18-0. With a Super Bowl win, they will be the first team to go 19-0, and the second team ever to have an undefeated NFL regular season. In 1972, before the league expanded and the regular season was elongated to 16 games, the Miami Dolphins finished the entire season 16-0 including a Super Bowl win.
The Giants have some pretty serious expectations for this game as well. They finished strong in the postseason, with their last loss coming in the regular season to (you guessed it) the Patriots. But, even in that defeat, the Giants played a pretty convincing game against what some people are calling the most dominant team in NFL history. And, they have only improved since their impressive showing against the Pats.
We now know that the Patriots are chasing history and the Giants have a legitimate shot at stopping them. Let’s move on to key players in this match-up. The Patriots offense is led by poster-boy and NFL MVP Tom Brady (he’s the one dating Gisele Bundchen). Brady’s favorite targets include tight end Benjamin Watson, and wide receivers Randy Moss and Wes Welker (who resembles Chris O’Donnell in my opinion). After this spectacular statistical season, Moss now holds the NFL regular season record for touchdown catches with 23, and Brady has the regular season touchdown passing record of 50. Moss notched his 23rd TD catch on Brady’s 50th TD pass, a play which naturally took place against the Giants. On the defensive side of the Patriot’s lineup resides their fearsome linebacker corps. Tedy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, and Junior Seau (who by the way is ANCIENT) have terrorized opposing offenses all season and are looking to crush the G-Men’s dreams of an upset.
The Giants are quarterbacked by Eli Manning, the younger brother of famous commercial actor Peyton. (That guy could sell anything; I heard he sold ketchup popsicles to a bunch of ladies wearing white gloves). Poor Eli came under a lot of fire throughout the regular season, with personal attacks coming from former teammate and UVA Alum Tiki Barber (Boo! Tiki, you are better than that). The youngest Manning came through in a pinch, delivering an impressive performance against the Patriots to end the regular season. Ever since that game, he’s been unstoppable. His favorite receivers include Plaxico (yes, that’s his real name) Burress and Amani Toomer (his too). I’ve always wondered what it is with Giants players and odd names. Tiki, Plaxico…? Oh, well, not my call. On defense the famously gap-toothed Michael Strahan leads the charge, flanked by Osi Umenyiora (who is dating Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks).
Time for a coaching comparison! Two more polar, opposite personalities you could not hope to find. Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is famously stoic, and famous for wearing that ridiculous grey sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. Giants coach Tom Coughlin spends most of his time bundled up on the sidelines screaming at the top of his lungs. While most New Yorkers (especially Tiki Barber) don’t particularly care for Coughlin, fans in New England worship the ground Belichick walks on, even though the NFL fined him early in the season for cheating. Okay, so everyone films the other teams’ call signs, but Belichick was silly enough to get caught. Oh well. Along with cheating, Belichick has been accused of running up the score, selling his soul to the devil, and sacrificing a virgin to the volcano before every game. (Just kidding. Maybe.)
Most pundits are picking the Patriots to win the Super Bowl and go 19-0. However, a select few are going with the Giants. I myself am a little torn here. I despise the Patriots and Butt Chin Brady with every fiber of my being, but it would be cool to see a team go 19-0. I pick the Giants, but I won’t be totally crushed if they lose. I’ll just a little bitter…until next season starts...
For those of you ladies less interested in the outcome of the game, and you choose which team to root for based upon the attractiveness of its players: go with the Patriots. Sure, I think Eli is the cuter Manning, but the Pats have got Brady and Welker. I never said I didn’t find Brady attractive, he’s just obnoxious. However, the Most Obnoxious QB in the League Award goes to Philip Rivers of San Diego.
I hope I’ve enhanced your understanding of this Sunday’s historic game. Throw out any of these facts at your Super Bowl party this Sunday, and prepare for some serious respect from the football fans in the vicinity.
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